If Voldemort was a birthday...

... he would be the 30th.

For the past year this is the birthday that shall not be named. At first I was in clean cut denial that it was looming but the closer and closer it's got, the more dreaded the thought became because I was not ready to be 30.

Now. Please don't get me wrong, it is an absolute privilege to grow older. I am grateful to have air in my lungs, to be healthy and mostly happy. But 30 in my mind was THE age. The age were I believed quietly in my head that everything should be achieved by now. I'd be settled, have my own place, have savings, have some incredible holidays under my belt and maybe be thinking about a future that would involve marriage and kids. It didn't help that I'm the youngest of three sisters and all of them have the above. And the closer and closer I got to 30 the more panicked I got that nothing was really going to plan. In fact none of the 'I'll have this by the time I'm 30' appeared. I just have felt majorly behind.

Last week I got an amazing email from my best bud Cara who knew exactly how I was feeling and made me see things much more positively. Heres the thing:

I have had an incredible 20's. I really have. I lived in Canada for 6 months and met some incredible people who I'm still friends with today. I worked in New Jersey and travelled around America for a summer. I finally realised after years of skirting around the issue that I need to have a camera in my hands for my heart to be happy because I am an artist. I'm slowly learning to be more business like and to push harder for what I want. I also have met some INCREDIBLE people in my industry who I've been taught by, inspired by and become friends with. I have 3 gorgeous nieces and a nephew, I love my family, I have some lovely old friends and I have made new ones along the way and I AM happy.

If my 20's was for learning new things, gaining new experiences and becoming more happy and confident in the person I am today then I am starting my 30's (as of tomorrow) off on the right footing.

I'll be spending my day with my very lovely twin celebrating our b'day doing fun stuff and will be back at the desk on Friday xox